i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
