I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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