No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We left an ass print on the piano.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
