On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
