are you still at the devil's house?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
