I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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