I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
