in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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