there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
