Screwed.edu
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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