My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
