Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
