Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
