Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
