My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
