I think my vagina is haunted
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
