You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
