The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
