We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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