I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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