If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
