I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
