am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
