i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
