Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize