i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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