I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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