So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
