If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
