You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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