Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize