I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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