i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
