is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
