The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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