Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize