I feel like abortions should bother me more
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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