It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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