sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
