Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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