Are we in a gay sports bar?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
