guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
