google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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