We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
