its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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