East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
