what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've blown a few things in my day
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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