I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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