i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
