i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
