dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
