why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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