normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
