I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize