I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
only you would photoshop your dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
