Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
