He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
