Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Come see our sink grown plant.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
