How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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