just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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