if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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