So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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