new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize