This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
